The Award For The Worst Toll Free Number Goes To 0800 MELANOMA

There’s an ad playing on the radio at the moment about a local skin cancer specialist.

I have a problem with their choice of phone number:

0800 MELANOMA

To me, this is a classic case of being unable to consider the customers perspective, who is looking into the business from the outside.

The business owner must have thought “we deal with melanoma every day, it’s what we do, so if 0800 MELANOMA is available, it’s the right number for us”.

Meanwhile, the customer is thinking “I don’t like the look of this mole on my arm. I think I’ll be ok, but I better get it checked by a professional just to be sure”.

And then you want them to dial 0800 MELANOMA?

No thanks. I don’t want melanoma.

If you had two take-a-way pizza joints to choose from would you call:

  1. 0800 PIZZA NOW, or
  2. 0800 CHEESY FATTY PIZZA?

The first one, right? Both are actually cheesy and fatty but I don’t want to be reminded of that when I’m about to order pizza to enjoy for dinner.

Same thing with 0800 MELANOMA. I don’t want to be reminded that I might have skin cancer.

In fact, that number is so bad, I think I’ll wait for the mole to clear up on it’s own.

Ideas for a better 0800 number for a skin cancer specialist:

  • 0800 CLEAR SKIN
  • 0800 HEAL MY SKIN
  • 0800 SAFE SKIN

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